To Laugh or to Mourn?

On my journey there’s been a time to laugh and a time to mourn. 

One time I knew this woman who liked me and we had a lot of fun together.  I would go to her house and we would have coffee.  We went to the same church and I was glad we were friends. 

Then, one day she stopped calling me. Suddenly it became clear she really didn’t like me.  I kept trying to figure out why.  I mean she wouldn’t talk to me.  And I kept trying to figure out what I had done.  Over time because I was hurt and I stopped liking her. 

Our relationship went downhill.  She would say really mean things to me. After time passed and I moved away from that town, it hit me.  What really happened was that I didn’t love her.  I was so concerned about how she was treating me that I was acting defensively to protect myself.  I didn’t take time to love her.  

If I hadn’t been so focused on myself I would’ve probably been able to iron out whatever happened. There could have been good times with this woman.  I mean, she wasn’t a bad person, she was just really unhappy.  

Facing the fact that I didn’t love her was not easy, but I knew I had to take a good look at myself. Just think instead of mourning what happened, I could have shared laughter with her.  I could have re-written our journey.  The good news is that now I know I can change how I respond.  I can do one thing.  I can choose to love. 

Creative Exercise: Think of someone in your life who treats you badly and ask yourself why.  Make a list of things you can do to change your relationship with that person.  Name one thing you can do today to start loving them.  Now, go do that one thing.